It all started outside The King’s Armpit that boozer down Limehouse way I was having a quiet pint with Bernie when in storms Tina Two-Tone and she’s sobbing about her ex-fiancé Gary nicking her engagement ring she swears she’s going to throw it in the canal if she ever gets it back anyway two days later Bernie’s walking his mum’s poodle down by the towpath little mare that one you know always yapping anyway Bernie sees a flash in the mud and there it is the fiery garnet in a gold swirl well I told Tina and she said she never wants to lay eyes on it again and if I see Gary I should toss him into the canal myself mind you I didn’t tell her I saw Gary last week looks like he’s been through the ringer, Jackie told me to mind my business so Im staying well shot of it.